ONLY
IN
AMERICA
1. Only in
America
...... can a pizza get to
your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in
America
......are there handicap parking places in
front of a skating rink.
3. Only in
America
......do drugstores make the sick walk all the
way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people
can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in
America
......do people order double cheeseburgers,
large fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in
America
.....do banks leave both doors open and then
chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in
America
......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars
in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in
America
......do we use answering machines to screen
calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we
didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in
America
......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and
buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in
America
......do we use the word 'politics' to describe
the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning
'bloodsucking creatures'.
10. Only in
America
......do they have drive-up ATM machines with
Braille lettering.
EVER WONDER
Why the sun lightens our hair, but
darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with
their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline
"Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated"
such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what
they do "practice"?
Why is it that to stop Windows 98,
you have to click on "Start"?
Why is lemon juice made with
artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the
slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat
food?
When dog food is new and improved
tasting, who tests it?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for
lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black
box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that
stuff?!
Why don't sheep shrink when it
rains?
Why are they called apartments when
they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is
Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they
call the airport the terminal?
------------------
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity
and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a
chuckle)...in other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile every
once in a while.