Subject: FW: Mathematics
 
 
    ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
   
    Smart man + smart woman = romance
   
    Smart man + dumb woman = affair
   
    Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
   
    Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
   
   
    OFFICE ARITHMETIC
   
    Smart boss + smart employee = profit
   
    Smart boss + dumb employee = production
   
    Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
   
    Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
   
   
    SHOPPING MATH
   
    A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
   
    A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
   
   
    GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
   
    A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
   
    A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
   
    A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife  can
 spend.
   
    A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
   
   
    HAPPINESS
   
    To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and  love
him
a
   little.
   
    To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not  try to
    understand her at all.
   
   
    LONGEVITY
   
    Married men live longer than single men do, but married men  are a
 lot
    more willing to die.
   
   
    PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
   
    A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he  doesn't.
   
    A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and  she
does.
   
   
    DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
   
    A woman has the last word in any argument.
   
    Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new
argument.
   
   
    HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
   
    Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in  the
ribs
    and cackling, telling me, "You're next."
   
    They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at
 funerals.
   
    SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND
    TO THE SMART GUYS YOU KNOW CAN HANDLE IT.