Nightmare #1

After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a

cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter. Unable to find it,
he asked the girl if she had one at hand.  "There might be some matches in

the top drawer," she replied.  He opened the drawer of the bedside table
and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of
another man. Naturally, the guy began to worry.  "Is this your husband?" he
inquired nervously.  "No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him.  "Your
boyfriend
then?" he asked.  "No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear.
"Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy.  Calmly, the girl
replied, "That's me before the operation."




       Nightmare #2

The spark had been lost in this guy's marriage, so he was trying to think
of a way to rekindle it. One night he came from work, and found his wife
asleep in bed.  He thought to himself, "What should I do? Oh - I know."
He
proceeded to get under the covers and go down on his wife. Soon she began
to gently squirm and moan in pleasure. After a few minutes,

her body spasmed with ecstasy as she climaxed.  Afterwards, the man went
straight to the bathroom to brush his teeth.  When he got there, the light
was on and he saw his wife there shaving her legs.  Being quite startled,
he asked, "What are you doing in here?!?"  She said, "Shhhh!," pointing at
the bed, "You'll wake your mother"



       Nightmare #3


One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to kiss each
other goodnight at the front door, the guy starts feeling a little horny.
With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and
smiling, he says to her, "Honey, would you give me a blow job?" Horrified,
she replies, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"  "Oh come on! Who's
gonna see us at this hour?" he asks grinning at her.  "No, please. Can you
imagine if we get caught?" "Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all
sleeping!"  "No way. It's just too risky!" "Oh please, please, I love you
so much?!?"  "No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!" "Oh yes
you can. Please?"  "No, no. I just can't"  "I'm begging you ... " Out of
the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's sister shows up
in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says, "Dad says
to go ahead and give him a blow job, or I can do it. Or if need be, Mom
says she can come down herself and do it.  But for God's sake tell

him to take his hand off the intercom