Defense Attorney: What is your age? Little old Woman: I am 86 years old. Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you? Little old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me. Defense Attorney: Did you know him? Little old Woman: No, but he sure was friendly. Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down? Little old Woman: He started to rub my thigh. Defense Attorney: Did you stop him? Little old Woman: No, I didn't stop him. Defense Attorney: Why not? Little old Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away some 30 years ago. Defense Attorney: What happened next? Little old Woman: He began to rub my breasts. Defense Attorney: And you allowed him to continue? Little old Woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive and excited.  I haven't felt that good in years! Defense Attorney: What happened next? Little old Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just laid down and said to him. . . "Take me . . . young man. . . Take me! " Defense Attorney: Did he take you? Little old Woman: Hell, no. He just yelled, "April Fool! " . . .. And that's when I shot the little bastard! -- Have a Great Day!