I work up so hungover I was afraid to open my eyes.  I couldn't remember how the evening ended or where I was.  With my eyes pressed tight I realized there was a woman snuggled next to me, her leg across my thigh.  I could smell her hair and a strange perfume.  I felt the weight of her heavy breast against my chest and I began to get aroused.  I began to open my eyes to get a look at this strange vixen when I suddenly realized it was full daylight. I sat straight up and said, "Oh Shit!  I gotta get home."  That's when she said, "You asshole, you ARE home!" its got to work..What do ya got to lose... Dave wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Dave looks around the room and sees that it is in a perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table, "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you." So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Dave asks, "Son, what happened last night?" His son says, "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door." Confused, Dave asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?" His son replies, "Oh that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off you said, "Lady leave me alone, I'm married!"